The Three Questions I Ask Before Every Reading
By Olivia Rivera · 20 August 2026
The cards can only be as good as the question you bring, so I settle three things before I ever touch the deck.
The most important part of a reading happens before I shuffle. I learned this slowly, and mostly by watching readings go nowhere despite perfectly interesting cards. A muddy question produces a muddy reading every time, and no amount of skill with the deck can rescue a session that started pointed in the wrong direction.
So over the years I've boiled it down to three things I settle before I touch a single card. I ask them of my clients, and I ask them of myself, and they've saved more readings than any spread I know.
One: Is this actually your question?
People arrive with borrowed questions constantly. They ask about their partner's feelings, their mother's health, whether a friend is being honest. And I understand why; those things weigh on us. But tarot works best pointed at the seat you're actually sitting in, and a reading about someone else's inner life tends to produce a fog you then take home and stew in.
So the first thing I do is quietly turn the question back to the asker. "Will he commit?" becomes "what do you need to feel secure, and are you getting it?" "Is my sister lying?" becomes "what would you do differently depending on the answer?" That last part matters enormously. If the answer wouldn't change anything you do, the question is really just anxiety looking for somewhere to sit, and the cards will only feed it.
A good tarot question has your own hands in it. If you're not anywhere in the question, you won't be anywhere in the answer either.
Two: What are you hoping I'll say?
I ask this one out loud, and it startles people, but it's the most clarifying question in my whole practice. Almost everyone comes to a reading with a hidden answer they're rooting for. There's nothing wrong with that. It's human. But if I don't get it out in the open, one of two things happens. Either they'll only accept cards that agree with their hope, or they'll read gloom into everything because they're braced for disappointment.
When someone says "honestly, I'm hoping you'll tell me to leave," we've learned something real before the deck is even out. Often the reading then becomes about why they already know and haven't moved. I've had readings end right there, with the person laughing and saying they didn't need the cards after all, they just needed to hear themselves say it. That's a good reading. That's arguably the best kind.
Naming the hope also keeps me honest. I can feel when I want to give someone good news, and knowing what they're hoping for lets me notice when I'm about to soften a card just to please them. The cards deserve to be read straight, and so does the person in front of me.
Three: Are you in a state to hear this?
Some days the answer is no, and the kind thing is to say so. If someone is in raw crisis, frightened about a diagnosis, or reeling from a loss that happened this week, a reading is often not what they need, and I'll tell them that gently. Tarot is for reflection and, yes, for a bit of wonder. It's not a substitute for a doctor, a lawyer, a therapist, or a plan, and I never want it standing in the doorway where one of those should be.
I run this check on myself too. If I'm too invested, too tired, or too frightened to receive an answer I don't like, I don't read that day. A reading you can't hear clearly isn't a reading. It's a Rorschach test for your current mood, and you'll walk away having learned only what you already felt.
A few signs I've learned mean "not today":
- The question keeps changing every time you try to say it. The confusion is upstream of the cards; sort that first.
- You only want one specific answer. Come back when you could genuinely sit with either.
- You're reaching for the deck to avoid doing something you already know you need to do.
Get these three settled and the actual reading almost does itself. The cards land on clear ground, they point somewhere useful, and you leave with a better question than you came in with, which is honestly what tarot is for. If you want the fuller version of how I keep readings safe and grounded, it's in our responsible use guide, and if you're just getting your footing, the beginner's guide covers how to frame a question worth asking before you ever look up what the cards mean.
The deck is patient. It'll still be there once you know what you're really asking. Most of the time, that knowing is the whole answer.